Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
