What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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