How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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