If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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