hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What a dumb baby whore.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
