this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
