so explain again why im purple
no
I hope mine doesn't look like that
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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