I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
