I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize