stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The best revenge is premature balding
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
