Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
