I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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