I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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