My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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