i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
