Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
