I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You left your phone here
Wait...
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