I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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