It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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