I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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