Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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