Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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