Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Bring me that man meat
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
