I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
