sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Girls should come with a carfax report
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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