my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
