my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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