Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize