The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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