how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
