Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
