you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
