I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
