He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
