He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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