I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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