Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me