Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
