He is an equal opportunity slut.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
