My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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