Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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