didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
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Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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