Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
