operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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