so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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