Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
