hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
