left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
