I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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