He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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