Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed

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(540): Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed http://tfl.nu/7wu4

Replies (30) Good night (806) Bad night (4010)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!

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(402): I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em! http://tfl.nu/ru3y

Replies (13) Good night (797) Bad night (5846)
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(914): View more from New York

Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?

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(914): Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later? http://tfl.nu/xxzo

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

like hot dogs and buns.

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(609): i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky (267): like hot dogs and buns. http://tfl.nu/crsi

Replies (22) Good night (8482) Bad night (1337)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.

(217): View more from Illinois

Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.

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(630): Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on. (217): Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder. http://tfl.nu/huht

Replies (13) Good night (9182) Bad night (1251)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

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(832): Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank. http://tfl.nu/gxu8

Replies (10) Good night (5269) Bad night (1225)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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(860): I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think. http://tfl.nu/zuxj

Replies (8) Good night (3142) Bad night (862)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

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(719): I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush. http://tfl.nu/eys0

Replies (11) Good night (2424) Bad night (851)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song

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(+44): He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song http://tfl.nu/ouwi

Replies (4) Good night (1803) Bad night (565)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..

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(573): I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember.. http://tfl.nu/rkzm

Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (428)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.

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(303): Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way. http://tfl.nu/uitb

Replies (7) Good night (680) Bad night (999)
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(817): View more from Texas

I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.

(817): View more from Texas

So yeah he had good weed?

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(817): I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft. (817): So yeah he had good weed? http://tfl.nu/m1w9

Replies (4) Good night (903) Bad night (536)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.

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(612): I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers. http://tfl.nu/s9wi

Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (465)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard

(203): View more from Connecticut

GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD

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(203): she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard (203): GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD http://tfl.nu/qncq

Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (681)
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(727): View more from Florida

He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.

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(727): He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait. http://tfl.nu/m5s4

Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (181)

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