Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.

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(703): I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like. http://tfl.nu/tgx7

Replies (33) Good night (1303) Bad night (2840)
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(817): View more from Texas

she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

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(817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!' http://tfl.nu/lcp1

Replies (14) Good night (5092) Bad night (1064)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.

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(704): i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand. http://tfl.nu/a9f5

Replies (10) Good night (4157) Bad night (1152)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me

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(703): i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me http://tfl.nu/57r1

Replies (1) Good night (2140) Bad night (946)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.

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(804): I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights. http://tfl.nu/u1l7

Replies (4) Good night (2665) Bad night (920)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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(416): Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it? http://tfl.nu/zi0h

Replies (6) Good night (3846) Bad night (1228)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day

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(217): I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day http://tfl.nu/8h3x

Replies (9) Good night (1034) Bad night (2198)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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(250): dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf http://tfl.nu/yf3n

Replies (7) Good night (2954) Bad night (1252)
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(406): View more from Montana

well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded

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(406): well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded http://tfl.nu/5ng8

Replies (3) Good night (1962) Bad night (899)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.

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(847): He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited. http://tfl.nu/2tlf

Replies (20) Good night (6994) Bad night (1005)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle

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(630): I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle http://tfl.nu/8rh4

Replies (4) Good night (1786) Bad night (578)
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(607): View more from New York

Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!

(315): View more from New York

I get naked cuz your not there

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(607): Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?! (315): I get naked cuz your not there http://tfl.nu/p9qb

Replies (12) Good night (2961) Bad night (824)
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(845): View more from New York

I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...

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(845): I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex... http://tfl.nu/82t9

Replies (3) Good night (1439) Bad night (446)
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(941): View more from Florida

That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.

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(941): That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that. http://tfl.nu/m9pn

Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (330)
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(212): View more from New York

He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.

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(212): He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed. http://tfl.nu/sg9n

Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (330)

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