My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
be right there i have to get my cape
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
