Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.

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  (352): So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated. http://tfl.nu/ef34
  Replies (12) Good night (3027) Bad night (574)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  THAT'LL be a good time.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.

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  (401): THAT'LL be a good time. (401): and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word. http://tfl.nu/x8f6
  Replies (18) Good night (3468) Bad night (593)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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  (815): Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic. http://tfl.nu/2mbo
  Replies (4) Good night (3036) Bad night (627)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  can u get pink eye on your cock?

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  (207): can u get pink eye on your cock? http://tfl.nu/aw6r
  Replies (19) Good night (651) Bad night (5531)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

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  (908): I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain. http://tfl.nu/vwtj
  Replies (51) Good night (25733) Bad night (1216)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???

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  (614): Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale??? http://tfl.nu/bzai
  Replies (6) Good night (3288) Bad night (1236)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!

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  (203): Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!! http://tfl.nu/1t5b
  Replies (20) Good night (2179) Bad night (1330)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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  (360): You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right? http://tfl.nu/c6gn
  Replies (10) Good night (2581) Bad night (1085)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"

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  (770): After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me" http://tfl.nu/acul
  Replies (22) Good night (3413) Bad night (1051)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio

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  (302): Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio http://tfl.nu/5lxt
  Replies (9) Good night (2013) Bad night (536)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.

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  (417): Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mh6q
  Replies (4) Good night (879) Bad night (402)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  that's how you measure success

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?

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  (401): that's how you measure success (1-401): By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday? http://tfl.nu/varj
  Replies (7) Good night (1227) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.

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  (813): Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early. http://tfl.nu/x0zy
  Replies (3) Good night (843) Bad night (248)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.

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  (253): Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now. (1-253): Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now. http://tfl.nu/vki8
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (264)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?

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  (330): Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to? http://tfl.nu/t7h6
  Replies (3) Good night (277) Bad night (389)

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