Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike

(1-917): View more from New York City

this is mike. we're done.

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(917): I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike (1-917): this is mike. we're done. http://tfl.nu/abns

Replies (21) Good night (881) Bad night (2990)
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(206): View more from Washington

Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha

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(206): Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha http://tfl.nu/twp9

Replies (17) Good night (1552) Bad night (762)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

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(832): i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life. http://tfl.nu/zh94

Replies (51) Good night (4915) Bad night (592)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone

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(902): you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken' (1-902): well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone http://tfl.nu/o9f8

Replies (8) Good night (2562) Bad night (615)
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(+44): View more from England

mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.

(+44): View more from England

"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"

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(+44): mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes. (+44): "and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'" http://tfl.nu/aeg7

Replies (32) Good night (4494) Bad night (1456)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.

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(804): I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size. http://tfl.nu/11z8

Replies (20) Good night (6211) Bad night (823)
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(613): View more from Ontario

So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

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(613): So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely. http://tfl.nu/77c9

Replies (58) Good night (8423) Bad night (2161)
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(937): View more from Ohio

All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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(937): All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely http://tfl.nu/gogl

Replies (4) Good night (3147) Bad night (654)
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(585): View more from New York

Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.

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(585): Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary. http://tfl.nu/sahm

Replies (8) Good night (1933) Bad night (991)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.

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(403): They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again. http://tfl.nu/2yc4

Replies (5) Good night (622) Bad night (1323)
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(904): View more from Florida

Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.

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(904): Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake. http://tfl.nu/mh4i

Replies (10) Good night (747) Bad night (959)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.

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(603): 'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES. http://tfl.nu/23ze

Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (273)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.

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(832): No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even. http://tfl.nu/n3x6

Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (290)
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(806): View more from Texas

Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.

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(806): Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom. http://tfl.nu/zajb

Replies (2) Good night (934) Bad night (303)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going

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(+44): I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going http://tfl.nu/bpru

Replies (5) Good night (443) Bad night (125)

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