Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
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Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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