no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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