I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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