We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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