Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize