u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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