Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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