I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
