I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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