he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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