he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
