4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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