I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize